I get this sensation sometimes -
this dark sensation -
that starts as a tiny tingle
and matures into a sturdy pull
on the tender fibers
of that pounding muscle that lets me breathe.
It tugs,
stringing a part of me into
a black hole
where I don't even understand the stranger
laws of physics
for me to rectify them.
And dammit then it stabs
like I did something real bad
I mean something like threatened its family
or set its house on fire
only I'm sure
it's the sole of its kin
and it lives and thrives in me
(and many others, I've heard).
Either way, it keeps stabbing
and then I feel it scrape
like it's carving a pumpkin,
cutting out the flesh and soul
from my expression
leaving me with a hollow smile
for display.
Sometimes, many times, it even finds its way
to my tear ducts
and pricks them with little spears
until they do what they naturally do
under stress.
This sensation even bullies me into leaving the house -
it grips
my wrists
so tightly
and after a beastly struggle
I free myself
and my legs carry me to an open field where
I sit down, catching my breath
feeling safe
for a moment.
I almost feel all better until I realize
that it wanted me to run here
it wanted me to smell the blossoms around me
and notice that they were all
forget-me flowers
and he-loves-me-not petals.
A second later, I hear it
a susurrus in the closest shrub
a snicker
and I see it
a smirk
then a set of teeth
sinking
into my fading smile.
