I'm listening to Rachel Maddow elaborating on the ridiculous viewpoints and "paranoid blues" of the John Birch Society. It's thoroughly entertaining...I mean, how can anyone possibly think that the Civil Rights movement was actually a conspiracy to turn Arkansas into a "Negro Soviet Republic"? Ridiculous is the only way to describe it.
You know what's even more ridiculous? Death panels. Because I'm sure that was the whole point of the healthcare reform. Yeah, O.K.
As much as I hope that the bill will go through, I really wish that the public option could have remained where it belonged. I want everyone to be insured...I'm sick of people turning down their meds because they can't pay for them. If I hadn't worked in pharmacy for so long, I'll be honest, I wouldn't have known the severity of the issue. But seriously, it seems like the rich get to pay for their health...their life...as if the poor's right to live and live healthily is not justified because they don't have the bucks to back it up.
Socioeconomic crises suck. It's painful to watch. It's painful to live through.
Anyway, my political passions aside, I went to Dee's house today. We talked about relationships. I kind of understand her fear of commitment - the feeling of being smothered, the feeling of things happening too quickly - without enough time to reflect on what's actually going on, and perhaps analyzing the bigger scheme of things. At the same time, though, I feel like if you're with the right person, even if the person is not Mr. Right forever, all of those fears are calmed...because that person would make it all worth it.
I'm not sure if I'm one to talk.
I guess she's having trouble because she's had so many other guys in her life...it's like she rationed off her heart and keeps on forgetting which parts were allocated to who. Getting over people is not easy...forgetting them is even harder. I really hope things work out for her. I don't want her to get trapped into thinking that certain people care when they actually don't, or that she deserves to be treated like crap sometimes. I also know that it's hard to convince someone of that fact.
After our heavy talk, we watched Holiday Inn. Fred Astaire + Bing Crosby = OMGOMGOMG. Great movie...still mad at Fred Astaire for messing with Crosby's life so much lolz. You know what I've noticed after watching a number of 30s movies? Many of the female characters were depicted as...stupid. Maybe naive. Mostly stupid though. It's kind of infuriating, or it would be, had the many of the movies back then not been considered "lighthearted."
Speaking of stupid female characters...I'm gonna go read Twilight.
Love,
~*..:Gowri:..*~
PS. Rohma left today! I already miss her.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Break time
I don't think I could possibly be more relieved than I am right now. Winter break is finally here! I'm sitting here in my bed, covered excessively by a number of comforters and way too many pillows than I actually need.
I'm lovin it. I don't care if McDonald's already coined that phrase.
Both yesterday and today, I woke up at 1:30pm. It's crazy to think that a human is actually capable of sleeping that much without having taken some kind of medication...but heck! I don't regret it. I was pretty much dormant yesterday...I woke up, showered, talked to my parents, called Amber, and organized my financial document binder. Today I did the same thing, except I decided to start reading Twilight. I have a strange feeling that I might be susceptible to getting addicted to it...but I also think that a part of me has changed my views about teenage love stories so as to not let that happen.
Fortunately, as I approached the tenth page of the novel, the phone rang. Rohma was calling. Both of us had spent the first days of winter break at about the same level of dormancy, and both of us were just as excited about the feet of snow that had accumulated over the roads and lawns of Germantown. Rohma came over and we reveled in each numbing step we took in the snow. It was so high up that the already low swings of the apartment complex became ridiculously low. We didn't have any sledding devices, but we did manage to find an abandoned box amidst the fluffy white sprinkles on the hill. However, as soon as we tried to sit on it, we plopped into the ground rather than sliding atop it. We laughed and made snow angels...with really deep wings, mind you...and briefly gazed at the stars before we decided that half of our bodies were numb from the cold.
It was definitely worth it. Snow like this isn't too common in Maryland. It reminded me of the crazy blizzards back in NE.
Anyway, Rohma and I decided to walk to Blockbuster and rent something light-hearted. We definitely spent more time in the candy aisle than the movie shelves. The store is closing down, so everything was on clearance sale. I plan on going back tomorrow and buying Seven Pounds; I've been separated from Will Smith for much too long.
We ended up watching Made of Honor while eating a healthy dinner that comprised of sweet tarts, cookies, popcorn, raisinets, and skittles. The movie was cute and light-hearted, just as I had hoped. Before Rohma's dad came to pick her up, we had a short conversation about being confused about life. I think Rohma described it well...like being "stuck." I totally agree with her. It's like I'm ready to declare that things are going to change, that things are going to be different, and that maybe I can be decisive for once, but it just doesn't happen.
Just to make one declarative statement though, I do plan on changing my habits this winter. A lot. I'm quite fed up with my performance in every category in my life nowadays.
Either way, I'm going to miss Rohma when she's off livin it up in Australia. I will also continue to envy her.
I do plan on being slightly productive tomorrow. I'm going to build a snowman in the morning, go to the mall, and read that friggin book that will allow me to finally get my permit. I think I finally understand why everyone is so excited about driving. There are times when I really just need to go somewhere...anywhere...and a car is the best way to make that happen.
I wrote a poem about two weeks ago in a form I never tried before (the pantoum), and I plan on posting it here.
Anyway, I'm psyched about winter break and I plan to cherish every moment of it.
Love,
~*..:Gowri:..*~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Desperation
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
Her mascara-lined lashes are awfully damp
Her enticing smile slips to feigned
But still you go on about some red-dressed vamp
Whose reputation you stained.
Her enticing smile slips to feigned
As she waits her turn and clears her throat
About whose reputation you stained
She wishes for you to stop the gloat.
As she waits her turn and clears her throat
She lets rain her cloud of doubt
She wishes for you to stop the gloat
Because you don’t know at all what she’s about.
She lets rain her cloud of doubt
But your hands ruthlessly caress
(Because you don’t know at all what she’s about)
The underside of her dress.
She was on the verge of spilling his name
But still you go on about some red-dressed vamp
And like years before the pang is the same -
Her mascara-lined lashes are awfully damp.
I'm lovin it. I don't care if McDonald's already coined that phrase.
Both yesterday and today, I woke up at 1:30pm. It's crazy to think that a human is actually capable of sleeping that much without having taken some kind of medication...but heck! I don't regret it. I was pretty much dormant yesterday...I woke up, showered, talked to my parents, called Amber, and organized my financial document binder. Today I did the same thing, except I decided to start reading Twilight. I have a strange feeling that I might be susceptible to getting addicted to it...but I also think that a part of me has changed my views about teenage love stories so as to not let that happen.
Fortunately, as I approached the tenth page of the novel, the phone rang. Rohma was calling. Both of us had spent the first days of winter break at about the same level of dormancy, and both of us were just as excited about the feet of snow that had accumulated over the roads and lawns of Germantown. Rohma came over and we reveled in each numbing step we took in the snow. It was so high up that the already low swings of the apartment complex became ridiculously low. We didn't have any sledding devices, but we did manage to find an abandoned box amidst the fluffy white sprinkles on the hill. However, as soon as we tried to sit on it, we plopped into the ground rather than sliding atop it. We laughed and made snow angels...with really deep wings, mind you...and briefly gazed at the stars before we decided that half of our bodies were numb from the cold.
It was definitely worth it. Snow like this isn't too common in Maryland. It reminded me of the crazy blizzards back in NE.
Anyway, Rohma and I decided to walk to Blockbuster and rent something light-hearted. We definitely spent more time in the candy aisle than the movie shelves. The store is closing down, so everything was on clearance sale. I plan on going back tomorrow and buying Seven Pounds; I've been separated from Will Smith for much too long.
We ended up watching Made of Honor while eating a healthy dinner that comprised of sweet tarts, cookies, popcorn, raisinets, and skittles. The movie was cute and light-hearted, just as I had hoped. Before Rohma's dad came to pick her up, we had a short conversation about being confused about life. I think Rohma described it well...like being "stuck." I totally agree with her. It's like I'm ready to declare that things are going to change, that things are going to be different, and that maybe I can be decisive for once, but it just doesn't happen.
Just to make one declarative statement though, I do plan on changing my habits this winter. A lot. I'm quite fed up with my performance in every category in my life nowadays.
Either way, I'm going to miss Rohma when she's off livin it up in Australia. I will also continue to envy her.
I do plan on being slightly productive tomorrow. I'm going to build a snowman in the morning, go to the mall, and read that friggin book that will allow me to finally get my permit. I think I finally understand why everyone is so excited about driving. There are times when I really just need to go somewhere...anywhere...and a car is the best way to make that happen.
I wrote a poem about two weeks ago in a form I never tried before (the pantoum), and I plan on posting it here.
Anyway, I'm psyched about winter break and I plan to cherish every moment of it.
Love,
~*..:Gowri:..*~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Desperation
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
Her mascara-lined lashes are awfully damp
Her enticing smile slips to feigned
But still you go on about some red-dressed vamp
Whose reputation you stained.
Her enticing smile slips to feigned
As she waits her turn and clears her throat
About whose reputation you stained
She wishes for you to stop the gloat.
As she waits her turn and clears her throat
She lets rain her cloud of doubt
She wishes for you to stop the gloat
Because you don’t know at all what she’s about.
She lets rain her cloud of doubt
But your hands ruthlessly caress
(Because you don’t know at all what she’s about)
The underside of her dress.
She was on the verge of spilling his name
But still you go on about some red-dressed vamp
And like years before the pang is the same -
Her mascara-lined lashes are awfully damp.
Monday, July 20, 2009
Soars and Sores
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
What mores can wings cope?
Be snores a better hope
Or clips a better sin
Than fibs of what is win.
What walks can imbue?
Be stalks just a better view
Or flash a better sign
For green of old design.
Never can they find the gold
If let they be told
Mind you, it gets old
And more so, much too cold.
What mores can wings cope?
Be snores a better hope
Or clips a better sin
Than fibs of what is win.
What walks can imbue?
Be stalks just a better view
Or flash a better sign
For green of old design.
Never can they find the gold
If let they be told
Mind you, it gets old
And more so, much too cold.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
An Old Poem
You were always the brightest star
The one that seemed nearer
When it was actually quite far
The one that I would reach for
In the crazy hope
Of grasping the shine that I adore.
And tonight I see you still
While stiller I stand
I see you shooting by
Leaving a trail of luminescence
That I thought I’d never see
And though you blaze away
I feel lucky
To have had a spark that fell on me - from so far in the sky
And it burns, yes it does,
But its warmth
makes worth
the Branding.
The one that seemed nearer
When it was actually quite far
The one that I would reach for
In the crazy hope
Of grasping the shine that I adore.
And tonight I see you still
While stiller I stand
I see you shooting by
Leaving a trail of luminescence
That I thought I’d never see
And though you blaze away
I feel lucky
To have had a spark that fell on me - from so far in the sky
And it burns, yes it does,
But its warmth
makes worth
the Branding.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Fear of Frozen Air
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
From now not too far one day
you will hear what the Chukar had to say
and bellow to the moon who could infer
but rather would beg to differ.
(Why such barriers of lingo
Should keep this bond in limbo?)
Since the moon did not budge
the Chukar did rustle her feathers and aim towards
the moonlight that shone upon her beating heart
(Her feathers still ruffle along that path)
And all will be well if the moon
Warms the air all but soon
God forbid the air will freeze
And the Chukar’s song:
a lowly
lonely
wheeze.
Oh dear, from now not too far one day
you will hear what the Chukar had to say.
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
From now not too far one day
you will hear what the Chukar had to say
and bellow to the moon who could infer
but rather would beg to differ.
(Why such barriers of lingo
Should keep this bond in limbo?)
Since the moon did not budge
the Chukar did rustle her feathers and aim towards
the moonlight that shone upon her beating heart
(Her feathers still ruffle along that path)
And all will be well if the moon
Warms the air all but soon
God forbid the air will freeze
And the Chukar’s song:
a lowly
lonely
wheeze.
Oh dear, from now not too far one day
you will hear what the Chukar had to say.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Ups and Downs
I was in a great mood all day. I think my happiness is directly proportional to the amount of sunlight I see outside of the window.
I really wanted to just lie in the grass and stare at clouds today, but I figured that would be a rather peculiar request, so I didn't share. Steven, Crystal, and I painted with watercolours today. I must say, Steven and Crystal are total artists! I think Preetha will especially appreciate Steven's portrayal of Oscar (her stuffed animal turtle) on a logged boat riding the waves of an endless ocean.
Art rocks.
Nothings too new in life. Well, nothing I'd like to share at least. Yesterday I went to Rohma's apartment for about an hour to say happy birthday to Anam. We had a psuedo dance party, which got me in a good mood, despite a pounding headache that has yet to go away. I was so pumped! So pumped that when I got back to Ellicott and sang happy birthday to Josh, I went running with Steven. I stole Tina's phrase "emotional run" to describe the event. I definitley needed something to take my mind off of everything else.
You know what's weird? I always need time alone to think and weigh out situations in my head, but if I didn't have such supportive friends, I feel like the jumbled facets of my mind would end up crashing in on themselves and leave a heavy void - I guess like a black hole - right where my sanity is suppossed to be.
Anyway, Preetha and Dane were watching Becoming Jane yesterday as well. I LOVE that movie! Yesterday in particular, however, I really was not ready to view the ending again...I guess because I feel like such an ending is much too possible. I guess I don't know what's worse...expecting a happy ending or accepting an unsatisfactory one. Nevertheless, the emotional run did not last long enough for me to get to miss the ending. Preetha and I just sat in front of her laptop, weeping, until about 2:30am. Dane fell asleep on Teddy...I'm happy he did not have to witness our teary eyes.
Today I met up with Deanna for lunch. She shared this situation of hers that greatly makes me concerned about how she's going about through life. I guess I don't really understand the concept of transient, somewhat physical relationships. It's strange...Deanna's one of the best people I know. She's a great person...but it's like she doesn't express that great personality to the guys she meets. Furthermore, the guys she meets usually aren't interested in personality anyway. I just don't know what to tell her. Also, I guess it's confusing me even more because one of her situations is similar to my awkward quandry and I just don't know what to make of it. I don't even know if I should be thinking about it. She's reacting MUCH differently then how I'm dealing with it.
I'll stop with the ambiguity. I'll pretend this isn't important.
*sigh*
I'm excited to be staying this weekend! I might be heading over to Rohma's or Tina/Dee's to finish a task that I skrewed up a couple of weeks ago. I think Steven might be occupied with EWB...which is really intense by the way! He's working on it right now, and just looking at it makes me gape...but he can't see because his back is turned.
Oh yeah! And Steven drew a portait of me! I love it, although I laughed at it effusively. Or maybe I laughed with it.
Daney left today. He tatooed my hand with pen and tickled my feet before he left. He looked rather zoned out. I hope everything works out for him...everytime I see even the slightest hint of sadness in his eyes, I immediately acquire the urge to cry.
Payal was in the dorm for a little while; she's so cheerful! I'm quite fond of her. Speaking of Hindi-speakers, Steven displayed his expertise today. All was well until he said the jungli billi dialogue from Don. He must not have emphasized the "billi" enough, because Rachana thought he was just calling her "jungli" lolzzz. Poor Steven. I doubt anyone really cared...he's great at Hindi!
Well, I'm gonna make a to-do list! I'll post it soon. Toodles! Or...whatever lolz.
Love,
Gowri
(edit - To Do List!)
Saturday
Academics
1) Genetics Chapter 16 w/Problems
2) Review Orgo Notes
3) Weekly Quiz
4) 1 Holocaust Reading
5) Thesis Conference Review
6) Read one article for Movie Class/Read for Gems
Social/Not Academic
1) Go Thrifting
2) Go to Rohma's
Sunday
Academic:
1) Genetics Chapter 17 (read)
2) Orgo Chapter 4 problems
3) Gems Research
4) 1 Holocaust Reading
5) Thesis Conference Review
6) Gems Reading
Social/Not Academic:
1) Mandir
2) Cherry Blossom Festival?
I really wanted to just lie in the grass and stare at clouds today, but I figured that would be a rather peculiar request, so I didn't share. Steven, Crystal, and I painted with watercolours today. I must say, Steven and Crystal are total artists! I think Preetha will especially appreciate Steven's portrayal of Oscar (her stuffed animal turtle) on a logged boat riding the waves of an endless ocean.
Art rocks.
Nothings too new in life. Well, nothing I'd like to share at least. Yesterday I went to Rohma's apartment for about an hour to say happy birthday to Anam. We had a psuedo dance party, which got me in a good mood, despite a pounding headache that has yet to go away. I was so pumped! So pumped that when I got back to Ellicott and sang happy birthday to Josh, I went running with Steven. I stole Tina's phrase "emotional run" to describe the event. I definitley needed something to take my mind off of everything else.
You know what's weird? I always need time alone to think and weigh out situations in my head, but if I didn't have such supportive friends, I feel like the jumbled facets of my mind would end up crashing in on themselves and leave a heavy void - I guess like a black hole - right where my sanity is suppossed to be.
Anyway, Preetha and Dane were watching Becoming Jane yesterday as well. I LOVE that movie! Yesterday in particular, however, I really was not ready to view the ending again...I guess because I feel like such an ending is much too possible. I guess I don't know what's worse...expecting a happy ending or accepting an unsatisfactory one. Nevertheless, the emotional run did not last long enough for me to get to miss the ending. Preetha and I just sat in front of her laptop, weeping, until about 2:30am. Dane fell asleep on Teddy...I'm happy he did not have to witness our teary eyes.
Today I met up with Deanna for lunch. She shared this situation of hers that greatly makes me concerned about how she's going about through life. I guess I don't really understand the concept of transient, somewhat physical relationships. It's strange...Deanna's one of the best people I know. She's a great person...but it's like she doesn't express that great personality to the guys she meets. Furthermore, the guys she meets usually aren't interested in personality anyway. I just don't know what to tell her. Also, I guess it's confusing me even more because one of her situations is similar to my awkward quandry and I just don't know what to make of it. I don't even know if I should be thinking about it. She's reacting MUCH differently then how I'm dealing with it.
I'll stop with the ambiguity. I'll pretend this isn't important.
*sigh*
I'm excited to be staying this weekend! I might be heading over to Rohma's or Tina/Dee's to finish a task that I skrewed up a couple of weeks ago. I think Steven might be occupied with EWB...which is really intense by the way! He's working on it right now, and just looking at it makes me gape...but he can't see because his back is turned.
Oh yeah! And Steven drew a portait of me! I love it, although I laughed at it effusively. Or maybe I laughed with it.
Daney left today. He tatooed my hand with pen and tickled my feet before he left. He looked rather zoned out. I hope everything works out for him...everytime I see even the slightest hint of sadness in his eyes, I immediately acquire the urge to cry.
Payal was in the dorm for a little while; she's so cheerful! I'm quite fond of her. Speaking of Hindi-speakers, Steven displayed his expertise today. All was well until he said the jungli billi dialogue from Don. He must not have emphasized the "billi" enough, because Rachana thought he was just calling her "jungli" lolzzz. Poor Steven. I doubt anyone really cared...he's great at Hindi!
Well, I'm gonna make a to-do list! I'll post it soon. Toodles! Or...whatever lolz.
Love,
Gowri
(edit - To Do List!)
Saturday
Academics
1) Genetics Chapter 16 w/Problems
2) Review Orgo Notes
3) Weekly Quiz
4) 1 Holocaust Reading
5) Thesis Conference Review
6) Read one article for Movie Class/Read for Gems
Social/Not Academic
1) Go Thrifting
2) Go to Rohma's
Sunday
Academic:
1) Genetics Chapter 17 (read)
2) Orgo Chapter 4 problems
3) Gems Research
4) 1 Holocaust Reading
5) Thesis Conference Review
6) Gems Reading
Social/Not Academic:
1) Mandir
2) Cherry Blossom Festival?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Sleep Deprived and In a Poetic Mood
I'm trying not to fall asleep in class...poetry helps me do that. Poetry keeps me sane.
Glow I Shan’t
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
3/10-11/2009
I glow
Do you say?
I think not.
…unless egregiously
My! Inadvertently.
I shan’t glow
For this is sin
That stabs and slices and spears me
In in in
In
side the vein that conjoins the beating (perhaps beaten) chambers
That should separate what need be.
Glow I must not
And glow I will not
So egregiously.
So that the black of dark does not illuminate
and suffuse
and besmirch
the surface of all that is clean,
sometimes obscurity
Should be.
And
Sometimes light
Is much too Pretty…
At least,
for me.
Glow I Shan’t
By: Gowri Nadmichettu
3/10-11/2009
I glow
Do you say?
I think not.
…unless egregiously
My! Inadvertently.
I shan’t glow
For this is sin
That stabs and slices and spears me
In in in
In
side the vein that conjoins the beating (perhaps beaten) chambers
That should separate what need be.
Glow I must not
And glow I will not
So egregiously.
So that the black of dark does not illuminate
and suffuse
and besmirch
the surface of all that is clean,
sometimes obscurity
Should be.
And
Sometimes light
Is much too Pretty…
At least,
for me.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Ranting
I need some place to rant. So I might as well do it here...I mean, even though I don't really have a right to rant because there are many people out there with actual problems, not petty superficial issues that I am currently considering problems.
1) I have a research paper due thursday
2) I have an orgo test on friday
3) I am rethinking my major
4) I can't concentrate
5) I have an awkward situation in the love department
6) I want to quit my job, but not really
7) I want to move to California to run away from my problems
8) I feel like a bad daughter
9) All I want to do all day is read and write poetry, when I clearly should be passing school first
10) I friggin can't manage my time
11) Annoying people call me and make my blood boil
All in all, I am a confused person who needs a vacation, but not really.
Maybe I'm just indecisive. Or in denial.
But I guess I have to remember that tomorrow is a new day.
"Aaj hai duk toh kal sukh hoga, kahe ko ghabraye?"
Pea sout!
1) I have a research paper due thursday
2) I have an orgo test on friday
3) I am rethinking my major
4) I can't concentrate
5) I have an awkward situation in the love department
6) I want to quit my job, but not really
7) I want to move to California to run away from my problems
8) I feel like a bad daughter
9) All I want to do all day is read and write poetry, when I clearly should be passing school first
10) I friggin can't manage my time
11) Annoying people call me and make my blood boil
All in all, I am a confused person who needs a vacation, but not really.
Maybe I'm just indecisive. Or in denial.
But I guess I have to remember that tomorrow is a new day.
"Aaj hai duk toh kal sukh hoga, kahe ko ghabraye?"
Pea sout!
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